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Former Red Sox OF
Jacoby Ellsbury will be paid $21,000,000 this year by
The Bronx Embalmers (and the
same amount for the next
three years after this). And yet, he will not start for
The Evil Ones today against Boston. Why? Because of
(surprise!) an injury. Ellsbury has been plagued by injuries throughout his career—in the past complaining that the crack Red Sox medical staff mis-diagnosed and mis-treated his various ailments (which we
fully believe, by the way). Many fans forget that Ellsbury was an elite player for Boston—especially during his monster year in 2011 (.321, 32 HRs, 105 RBIs, 39 SBs). Somehow, he finished
second in the AL MVP voting to
Justin "I'm With Kate" Verlander. People
also tend to forget that he's been an All-Star, Gold Glove winner and two-time World Series Champion with the Red Sox (2007, 2013). So, frankly, we can't give him too much grief for not showing up to today's game. Now, willingly signing as a
free-agent with
The Pinstriped Posers—that's another thing entirely.
