Theo: 'Everything Must Go! Make Us An Offer!'

Theo's W. Addison St. Flea Market

Chicago has been associated with fire ever since Mrs. O'Leary's cow tipped over the lantern. Now, Theo Epstein is keeping that association alive with a Fire Sale on 1060 W. Addison Street in Chicago. Essentially, his message to the rest of Major League Baseball is:

"Everything Must Go—from the floor to the ceiling, take your pick of Cubbies!"

Now that it's clear that his rag-tag bunch of bears will not contend in the NL Central (10 games out as of today—despite winning three straight), nobody is safe. From dazzling shortstop Starlin Castro to suddenly powerful first baseman Bryan LaHair. Even starters Matt Garza and Ryan Dempster are now Blue Light Specials at Theo's "K"-Mart. Pretty much anybody but starter Jeff Samardzija can be had. It will be interesting to see if Theo's famous trading bravado results in a deal with his old buddies on Yawkey Way.